just what i'm feeling.

Emma is tired.

Emma needs sleep.

Emma is so darn happy that Friday is just ard the corner.

Emma can't wait to be home with her family.

Emma is loving & missing her family.

Emma is saying "goodnight peeps!"

=)

Yesterday marked the 30th day of my dad's passing. How time flew by so quickly, it will continue to fly by again. Oh, how i miss him so much! :(

I will be going back to jb this weekend for his 40th day prayer & it will be really painful as i'll be walking into the house for the 1st time with him totally not being there. It's scary as i don't want to imagine how i will feel as that time. he will not be there to welcome me with his super happy face. sigh. LIFE.

Gotta run. feel like i need to be out of the house now.

xoxo.

Emma

The lost of the bestest man in my life.

This Friday, 23rd October 2008 will mark the 4th week that my dad has left us to be with the Lord. As most of you would know, i lost my dad to a massive heart attack on the 26th September 2008. I finally managed to gather & pick myself up to post up this entry. Still keeping my fingers crossed that i would not break down into tears while i type this.

Losing my dad was the most difficult thing i had ever gone through in my life. It was my biggest fear; losing someone i love to death. I tell people, it's for the better as i didn't want him to suffer but on the other hand i wish he didn't have to leave us, leave me. 

His death was a shocking incident in my whole entire life. I used to think to myself at times, how would i react if i were to lose my father or my mother or my sister or my nan. and honestly, i couldn't find no answers in me. I used to shrug it away with the thought "no way man. not now, not so soon". only to realize that everything is possible. Time does not matter. It was a disaster as when i found out that my dad had passed on, it was just a flash back from all the previous thoughts i used to have, i couldn't believe he was gone just like that, i couldn't believe he just left without saying goodbye, i couldn't believe that i lost my dad. I couldn't believe i lost the bestest man in my life, my pillar of strength. 

My dad was my inspiration to have a simple life as he was the simplest person i ever knew. His demands for the best were minimal, his request for the things he loved doing were almost non-existent. 

He was such a great person, so great that words are not powerful enough to describe. Those that knew him will know exactly the kind of person he was. Joyful, cheeky, loving & caring. He was a man of few words but when he spoke, he only spoke about reality & things he really meant.  

If there was a person to be awarded with 'A Good Samaritan" award, without any further thoughts, i'll award it to my father. He was a good samaritan of our kampung & of cos among his friends. If anyone needed a helping hand be it fixing their roof, or watching over their house when no one's in, building up a barricade for their balcony, right up to lending a listening ear, he definitely will be there without any hesitations. He wasn't only gifted with his hands, he was also blessed with a kind heart. He used to believe in 3 principals in life;

1. never cheat

2. never steal

3. never lie

These principals were not only well known with me, but also with his mum, my grandmother. Upon seeing his face while he laid in the coffin with a peaceful face, i was comforting my nan by saying that at least he looked at peace when he died. and she told me, "well girl, that is what you get from being a good person. your dad was a good person. he always believed in 3 things, never cheat, never steal & never lie". At that moment, i knew that whenever a person does good in life, it does comes around. Especially when it comes from a person who is 85 years old whom believed in what her 58 year old son believed.

There's a lot more that i can say about my dad, but how i truly feels only lies within me. No words can. describe it. but certainly, you will hear more about how i feel about him rather than all the stories in my boring life.

xoxo

emma

enough is enough?

everyone comes to a point in their life when they've had enough. i.e:  enough of fake friends, enough of relationships, enough of drinking & clubbing, enough of working etc etc. i reckon there's a limit to everything. and i wonder if this time it has reached mine. i think it has. 

have a great weekend ahead people. :)

just wanted to drop a quick not-so-interesting entry.

*hugz*

-emma-

i don't have a damn title for this entry ;)

OMG! i just noticed that my blog doesn't quite help updating those that i've not kept in touch with in a long time, those that i hardly speak to but would love to know what the bloody hell i am & i've been up to.

So i reckon starting from now on, i'll try to post some really useful updates..like i said...i'll TRY ;)

Anyways, i've been up to nothing much besides work. [yea i bet you must be thinking "yea that's what you always say in yr other post"] heh :p anyhow, work's getting more & more stressful as  days go by, more & more challenging as a new month approaches & more & more exciting when i can handle my challenges well :) Conclusion; sometimes i love my job, sometimes i dread it. but it's all good. i hope.

Yesterday was a public holiday. ok. Don't ask me what public holiday it was. All i know, it's a holiday, I LIKE! :) so yea.. woke up pretty early, at about 9am (which i DIDN'T dread), Debbie & i put on our bikinis ;) , went for breakfast & headed off to our little fun 'resort' for a swim. We were basically under the sun for about 4 hours! Man, time flew by pass our nose without even realizing it. The next thing i knew it was already 3pm! It was fun. Got a tan (or perhaps DARKER) but i LIKE!) from all the swimming. I felt so healthy after that. it was fun. fun fun fun. Debbie & i did a few laps of racing. Just like lil kids. Laughing while racing, Wasn't funny at all. Half of the time we were trying to save ourselves from drowning coz of the constant laughing while racing. best. best :) i wish i had a waterproof camera. Could have taken tons of pics of us doing our silly stuff! hehe

Well, back to work today for another 2 days then there comes the weekend! hmm..yumyum..me love weekends ;) time to put on my dancing shoes (YEA RIGHT!) & have a kick ass time! (although i don't know what i'll be doing for the weekend).

Alrite alrite.. time to head to bed. Pillows are calling me. i can hear them :p

Nitey nitey.

xoxo emma

p/s: darling couz, what say you we go for a nice island trip when you come back this year? or maybe early next year? 

Renee tarling, me windu youuuuuu! jom makan makan & minum minum one of these days k!*mwah*

Dummmdeedeeduumm :)

What happens when you turn up late in the morning for DiGi's Enterprise Sales For SME?

This is what happens.........*drums rollllsssssssssssssssss*

oppsss.. sorry YEE MENG! *runs & hide behind curtain* i couldn't help but post it up :p

Lucky they only had to sing & not do some funky grooves! or else..... we would have had a superduperpuper tummy exercise! keeke

Anyways, i've been attending sales training for the passed 2 days. To my surprise, i didn't fall asleep this time round & it was pretty fun & exciting. The best part, we ate & ate & ate like no body's business throughout the whole day! ahhh..i like! :)

Alritey, that's bout all for now. Gonna have my power shower & then my power dinner! me hungry.. ^-^

-emma-

p/s. 'they' are starting to annoy the living hell out of me. GET OFF MY BACK YOU PRICK & A HALF! pfftthh! 

In the midst of finding myself; lost in a million painful thoughts.

Here i sit on a Saturday afternoon with a super full stomach drowsing away yet I'm still fighting it because i want to post up an entry. 

I know i've been slacking at updating my blog because i've been too occupied with work, life...and...life.

These passed 2 weeks have been the most difficult time of my life. Many different thoughts have been running through my head over & over again. I have been finding the door out of these thoughts, but i just can't seem to find it. It's either I'm not looking hard enough or i just don't want to.

I wish i had the power to change certain things in life, make life so much easier, make things work out the way it should have or should be. 

I'm uttering words &  blabbering away because there's too much to be said that it hurts.  There's so much to do that's emotionally & mentally exhausting. There's so much to adapt to that it's uncomfortable. There are people to hurt & to be hurt that it sucks.

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I've been wanting a change in my life, i've been wanting better things, but the biggest issue is only wanting it but not working towards it. I've been going through a battle, only to realize that the biggest enemy is within myself. It is myself. 

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I've been wanting a way out, a way out to find peace. But i came to realize that it will only happen if I'm able to crawl through that thorn-filled path.

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The truth hurts, it's bitter. it's bitter. it's bitter.

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Life should be simpler. 

Emma