In the midst of finding myself; lost in a million painful thoughts.

Here i sit on a Saturday afternoon with a super full stomach drowsing away yet I'm still fighting it because i want to post up an entry. 

I know i've been slacking at updating my blog because i've been too occupied with work, life...and...life.

These passed 2 weeks have been the most difficult time of my life. Many different thoughts have been running through my head over & over again. I have been finding the door out of these thoughts, but i just can't seem to find it. It's either I'm not looking hard enough or i just don't want to.

I wish i had the power to change certain things in life, make life so much easier, make things work out the way it should have or should be. 

I'm uttering words &  blabbering away because there's too much to be said that it hurts.  There's so much to do that's emotionally & mentally exhausting. There's so much to adapt to that it's uncomfortable. There are people to hurt & to be hurt that it sucks.

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I've been wanting a change in my life, i've been wanting better things, but the biggest issue is only wanting it but not working towards it. I've been going through a battle, only to realize that the biggest enemy is within myself. It is myself. 

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I've been wanting a way out, a way out to find peace. But i came to realize that it will only happen if I'm able to crawl through that thorn-filled path.

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The truth hurts, it's bitter. it's bitter. it's bitter.

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Life should be simpler. 

Emma

horrid.

it's the most horrible feeling that anyone could ever face in their life.

a feeling that's indescribable, a feeling that makes you nervous, makes you tremble.

a feeling that i wish i could take away from myself right now.

a feeling that no one would ever wanna feel.

don't ask what or why. it is such.

g'nite.

emma.

to whom it may concern:-

lonely nights, 

quiet moments, 

hug-less sleeps,

empty room,

unusual days.

thousand thousand miles away,

24 hours x 9 days,

a 4 hour flight.

way to long, way to far.

if only you know how much you mean to me & how much your presence is appreciated (although in times of anger i wish you could disappear for a while). -dumbo-

~eu te amo~

.emma.

quicky wuicky

yes, i noticed i have been abandoning my blog. it's been ages since the last entry. 

i have so much to say, so much to tell & so much to bitch about. i promise i'll post a kick ass entry soon ok. 

xoxoxo.

my week, my weekend

my weekend was alright. did a quick trip back home. these we on my to-do list:-

1. spend as much quality time with the family 

2. get a hair cut

3. cook dinner for everyone at home

4. catch up with Aunty Annie before she leaves for Singapore on Saturday

5. have at-least one meal with everyone at the dining table.

it maybe a very short list but remember, i only had approximately 42 hours there including my sleeping time, eating time & other must-do daily basic 'activities'. so after deducting all the time for my must-do daily, it leaves me with hardly any time on my hands which ends up every single minute left was oh so precious.

i managed to do all my to-do stuff on my list above. i was totally satisfied that i managed to spend time with my family. every minute was cherished! 

i did get a hair cut. still love my hair-do even after a hair cut. still not bored of it yet which is good. 

i cooked dinner for everyone on Saturday. cooked black pepper mutton soup with white reddish, steamed chicken (it was SO JADI ok my chicken this time round), & veggy. n yes, this time we all sat at the dining hall & ate dinner together. :)

managed to catch up with aunty annie for abit on Saturday morning before she left for Singapore. totally satisfied! =)

on top of that, 

i went for breakfast with Uncle Nam, mummy & Josh for kueh chap this morning at 8.15AM! *faints* so damn early ok! somemore it was raining & i didn't feel like getting out of bed but i had to since i already promised uncle nam that we'll go for breakfast today.

i've been waking up rather early these passed 2 days. 7.30am on Saturday morning & 8am this morning which is really odd cos i usually struggle to wake up at these kinda times on normal working days. sighh..guess it's cos every single minute back home is so precious. so i have to cut down on the sleeping abit :p

(after my hair cut on the way home. so what kan? it still looks the same. but i just wanted to emphasize that i'm so poyo take my own pic! :p like i care! heheheeh)

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my weekday was pretty fine. did the most routine thing every--->WORK!

sighhhhh.

no no, this time i'm not gonna bitch about what a pain in the ass work can be. instead i'm gonna share with you something. see, DiGi changes flowers every week in the whole entire office. rumors has it that they spend approximately xx,xxx figure every month just to beautify the office with flowers. i've always wanted to take pics of it cos the flower arrangements kinda amuses me at times. but i've been this forgetful person all this while. fortunately last week i remembered!

(i find this so creative! it's pretty simply but nice! this is what i saw throughout the whole week the moment i walked out of my office door)

(these were on the 5foot way on the 4th floor)

that's all for tonight! i'm gonna have a nestle apple sour ice cream which i've been addicted to lately then i'm gonna head off to bed & mentally prepare myself for another week at work. :(

btw, although i enjoyed the time with the family during my weekend stay but i still wished that nan was there. i'm missing her heaps! can't wait for her to be back in October, hopefully September. 

gNite! sleep well! 

-emmajane-

mondaymonday

it's a suprise. i don't have the monday blues! :) YAY!
i reckon the first client i meet on every single day plays a very important part in influencing my whole entire day. my first client i met this morning was a very nice & humble boss :) so yea =)

have a supersplendidfantasticallyfantastic day ahead!
*hugZ*

-DiGi Futsal Championship 2008-

My life isn't that boring after all. being part of the cheerleading team for Enterprise's futsal team was pretty fun although our cheerleaders are decreasing as time goes by. hehehe.. oh well, i ain't gonna type a long ass entry this time. i'm just gonna let the pictures do the talking :)

DiGi's Futsal championship 2008

DiGi's Futsal Championship 2008 opening

P-O-R-T-U-G-A-L Team! woot woot! ;)

US- the 5 cheerleaders which lasted for only 1 day. sigh

OMG! who's OVERSIZED crocs are those???

blergh. it was me in YM's supersized crocs just after our team meeting in Barbodas. excuse my face! it was a candid shot!  :s

Alrighty. that's bout all for now. gnitey people. have a great week ahead. dread mondays, sulk coz you're going tru the Monday blues & bitch like me bout the only thing that you look forward in the whole entire week is FRIDAY! :p

xoxoxo.